About Fights

The thing about fights is, suddenly how clear your life becomes. How much clutter gets blown away just because you have had a no-holds-barred verbal shouting match with someone.

Of course fights are never one sided and always have two points of view but what is truly striking is how crystal clear your path becomes once you have had it.

You suddenly and with absolute clarity know who your friends are.

They stick by you. No questions asked. They acknowledge your shortcomings (You jump the gun too quickly) and praise you for your qualities( honesty). They draw you out of your gloom and do not let you wallow in self-pity for too long. They see you at your worst and yet they see reason in your logic. They admonish you but gently and assure you that you aren’t alone. They help you pick up the pieces and ease you back on the road called life.

In short they support you. All the way.

And suddenly you know, the long term friends. The ones you are going to stick with for a long time. They ain’t going nowhere. I’m not going to let them. I am thankful and grateful and I realize how much they make my world a much much much better place to live in. And I’m glad. The silver linings are lovely to behold. Much better than an everyday sunset.🙂

That Someone

You make me feel like someone else
A familiar kind of someone

A someone I knew a long time ago.
That someone who knew what loneliness meant
I see it in you. The wanting something else altogether.
That someone who was such a nerd, who loved Harry Potter and let her heart be ruled by such obsessions. 

That someone who understood the beauty of songs who related songs to places, events, people and let those memories wash over everytime they came on the radio.

That someone who watched interesting movies and didn’t feel guilty about it.

That someone who went for long drives and wondered how’d the rain make every thing so beautiful.

That someone for whom life wasn’t being part of the crowd, but that own little bubble you create inside yourself.
That someone for whom every corner held a wonder.

That someone who could spend hours on the internet and discover new things and yearn of places to go to.
I didn’t realize how much I missed it or how jaded everything had become.

Thank you for the sparkle.

The Blues and Being Happy

Happiness is not something frivolous. It is hard work. The conscious letting go of events, accepting bad decisions and most importantly believing that sometimes things are out of your control and you are not responsible for the consequences. Bad hair days, getting drenched on your way to work or being sassed by the rickshaw driver sometimes all contribute to distinctly putting you in a bad mood.

But the weird thing about being happy is also the knowledge that sometimes you have to be sad. That sometimes, the effort to turn a situation around is not worth it and lying low, till the moment passes is the best course of action. Small things can easily be brushed aside, but sometimes, the hurt is way more deeper and surprises you when it comes pouring out unexpectedly.

It is something really hard to explain to people that being happy is a process. You are often met with really vague answers like “I’m always happy” or “You think too much”. Or sometimes you are just blasted by quotes off the net that make you think.

I am still undecided on the course of happiness. But here is something I have to say – that just when you decide to give up on believing in it, fate has a good laugh and throws an unexpected happy moment for us to relish and savor. Just enough not to lose hope.

A cup of tea

I joined a new college. And initially it is hectic. The hustle of signing in, getting a hostel room allotted, finding a new roomie(She is really nice🙂 ) and the unpacking and settling in there. And after all the excitement dies down, there comes a lull. Where suddenly you are deflated. Where you get vulnerable and suddenly you start recalling all you left behind. In that moment you terribly miss your family. You recall all kinds of things you should have done and worry terribly about what is going to come. You know it is going to be a minefield and wonder if there is a pause somewhere where you dont feel so strung out. And at that point I almost drove home. Not for good but to spend one more night with my family. To bask in my room where everything was tailored for me and maybe hug my dog. But I didnt. At the advice of my friend I stayed back. Soon my roomie asked me to go for a cup of tea. And the two of us set out to the canteen. Suddenly we were joined by someone I knew from coaching classes and her roomie. And before we knew it, one cup of tea at 4pm stretched out till 6.30pm. Conversation just flowed. After all I wasnt the only one here all alone. Soon our next door neighbors joined us and the meet shifted to our hostel. By the next morning, We knew almost everyone on our floor. That was close to 40 girls. Suddenly and very unexpectedly, a new world had opened up. And it all started with a cup of coffee.

An Interesting Conversation

*In the midst of an argument*

Friend: Tell me what’s on your mind

Me: No

Friend: Tell me now

Me: No, I don’t want to say something Today, that would ruin Tomorrow

Friend: Well, Saying something Today will ruin Tomorrow But Day After everything will be alright again.


Note: I was impressed. And he was right. Saying something today probably meant ruining tomorrow but later differences would resolve itself and we would be on the same page again. Genius. And is the rule on how friendships operate in the first place.

The 14 Differences Between The Boys You Date And The Men You Marry

Something to chew on..

Thought Catalog

1. The kind of man you marry says “I love you” and “I’m sorry” because he genuinely feels that way, and he never hesitates to be the one to say it first. The kind of boy you date says those things when an apology will get you off his case and an “I love you” will keep you around a little longer.

2. The man you marry asks you out. The boy you date asks you to hang out. The man you marry will be clear about his intentions. The boy you date will keep you questioning.

3. The kind of man you marry knows the art of treating someone to a night out, and he realizes that he should do so not because he’s a man and it’s his masculine responsibility, but because everyone deserves to be treated well and swept off their feet now and again. The kind of boy you…

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The beach.

It was a balmy day. Just a smattering of clouds in a blue, blue sky. Soft wind was blowing and the setting sun was picturesque to behold on this beach.  I was strolling down on the white sand with my best friend. The wind in our hair, the crunch of seashells, sand under our flip flops and a soft glow of the setting sun, it was perfect. The thing about Pooja and I, is that we can sit next to each other in perfect contentment. Words aren’t necessary and silence is never awkward. Sometimes, I wonder if I have some connection with her from a previous life. I don’t see her often but when I do, it is like a continuation. Not like she has been away but she has been there all along. In some way; connected. No body can understand why she and I are friends. We are as different as chalk and cheese. I cant understand why we are friends. But I know this: The connection is definitely there. Maybe from a different dimension, or a different time, but definitely there. Now I don’t know why I told you so much about her. This story isn’t about her. She just happened to be there that day. But once I started typing, the words just flew out. One day maybe I will tell her how I feel. She already knows, but I will tell her anyway.

Coming back to my story. We were walking, on a beach, on an incredibly pleasant day. We were steps away from a small jetty that connected the beach to a tiny island. You could walk across to the island during low tide, but during high tide, the waters were choppy. I judged that we were maybe mid-tides as the water was quite deep but not violent. It looked calm on the surface. My deep reverie was broken when my name rang sharply across the river. I jerked up, quite rankled at the urgency in that voice. I saw my friend Nate straddling what looked like a man nearly drowning. He was frantically beckoning me to come and help. I am pretty good a swimmer and I cast my eye around the situation. It looked like the man had his ankle caught on something and Nate was holding him to keep him from going under. His few friends were standing on the shore of the island looking quite bewildered. Nate looked distressed and I frowned. Thats funny, thought I. The man would have been easily been able to swim across. The water wasn’t deep at all. At that point I should have realised that what doesnt look right, probably isn’t right. A vague unease enveloped me. And I did what I do always in times of stress, I brushed aside my inner conscious. Then I kicked off my shoes, steadied myself and jumped into the water. I plunged into frigidly cold water. It took me by so much surprise, I had to steady myself after a few strokes. My feeling of unease notched up a little higher. I swam easily across the channel.

“Whats up?” I blurted out, as soon as I neared them. He looked perplexed as ever. Nate is the swimmer in our group. He was a national level swimmer and was someone most confident in the water. “I can’t get him out”, he answered. “The sea weed just refuses to untangle and I can’t do it by myself, it is too deep”.

And then… I looked at the guy… He was gorgeous. My mouth dropped open. Not gorgeous in a male model kind of a way, but someone with sharp eyes and hard mouth. He had this incredible presence about him, a vitality, a command. Even in this predicament, he was not frazzled or rattled. His glance at me, cut thought all my defences. It looked straight into my soul. I was mesmerized. I couldnt look away. For what looked like eons but maybe was just seconds, we were gazing into each other’s souls.

Half submerged, Nate yelled out my name in annoyance. Right, thought I. Set him free. I dived under the water but nothing could be seen. The water was starting to swirl and it was kicking up sand in protest. As competent a swimmer as I am, I couldn’t make it to the bottom. I tried to swim down again and again. What is it, thought I, completely frustrated. And accidentally, my leg brushed his ankle. I stopped short. What the hell? It didn’t feel as though there was some weed entangling his foot, it looked like someone was holding it. I could feel long bony fingers clasping his ankle, underwater. I looked up at the guy again. And somehow, his whiskey brown eyes knew it all along. He looked at me half amused and half worried. He knew too that it was no weed holding him so tight. I dived again, attempting to get a better look. But the more I did, the more futile it was. I tried brushing his foot again to convince myself I hadn’t imagined it. But nope. It was still there, what looked like skeletal fingers, holding his ankle in a vise. Cold fear was settling down my spine and I was reaching a point of desperation like no other. What was holding him? Why was it holding only him? How long would it hold him? Why wasn’t it letting him go? By now, the waters were swirling dangerously and I knew it wouldn’t be long before either we drowned or got washed away into a dark and threatening ocean. The wind was strong as an ox but silent. And it hit me, that there wasn’t a sound to be heard. Everything was quite. Wind, water, animals. It was violent but just so silent. And colder, it was getting colder. Something evil was definitely around.

And then I just reacted. It was one of those moments, where something deep in your subconsciousness takes over. A buried wisdom, an instinct, that kicks into play. I started to unscrew my diamond earrings. Both the men, paused, and looked at me like I was crazy! What was I doing at a time like this? Honestly, I didn’t know either. I dropped the earrings at the trapped guy’s feet and I started to look around for something else, that I could throw. Before the guy could react, i stripped off his watch. It definitely looked expensive. Rolex. I threw it at his feet too. And then, it struck me, my silver ring! I wrenched it off my fingers and paused. I loved that ring. It was giving to me by my uncle and aunt at a very bad time. It represented love and support to get me through all things that I thought were more than I could handle. And I knew, that this would be one thing that would be bribe enough for that unholy creature. Something that wasn’t that valuable, but had incredible sentimental value. I closed my eyes, said a small prayer, and dropped the ring. The man raised his eyebrows. His sharp eyes had missed nothing. And instantly, I felt powerful hands grab me and leading me on my way to shore. The man was free and was dragging me out of the channel, onto the shore. We looked at each other, and again, there was that old time worn connection, We didn’t need words. His eyes asked me how I had done it. And who was I? I couldn’t even muster a smile. I was just too shaken, I got up and started walking away. He just lay there and turned his gaze towards the ocean. I knew it would be a while before he trusted any ocean, sea or any other water body again. An old fisherman watching the scene, walked up to me. He looked at me in empathy. I was torn between asking him about the incident and just getting the hell out of this weird place. I opened my mouth and realized that no sounds were forthcoming. Nate was avoiding my gaze too. I looked back and saw him staring at me. And suddenly I was sure, I would be seeing him again. Soon. I turned around and walked away. It had been a crazy day.


Note:  I love stories, this is my first attempt at writing them for a change.